Confused Again

I don't know why i get this smile when i start writing a blog, but never mind! As this is not what I am confused about! :)

We are usually confused about things which seem to mean a lot or even a little in our lives... and no arguments on this one, but at different point of times, different things matter to us... like before going to high school, we are confused about... 'should i opt for science or commerce?' ... and about two years down the line... we are standing on the same milestone of a different crossroad... 'which college? which subjects?' ... and if that's not all, there are many other toll-gates in our lives where we are stuck thinking about things like which girl friend?, which phone? , which job?, which company?, which shoe to buy? which place to travel to? which clothes to wear? which food to order? etc, etc.

With time, we start suppressing some of the prosaic confusions and tend to just go with the flow or pick the easiest option... but that does not help much... as there is someone inside us shouting... that u should have taken the other option!!!

Life is often full of 'so called important things and important people', - but to me they may not matter as much as they do to you! At least that's what i would like you to think!!! ;)

So friends, yeah I am confused right now! about something or someone very important and I have no clue... 'what should I do?' ... and I don't want this feeling to change to 'Why me?',

So, I thought and I thought... and finally I decided: "what the heck, let's just enjoy this confusion!"

... and to enjoy this moment... here is a song for you...

The happiest moment of my Life!

Ha ha... a strange topic to start with... but thanks to my friend Maitreya... for bringing me back to myself. Now stop wondering who Maitreya is, and read the post! ;)

Life is so much about the emotions that we feel, rather than the feats that we achieve, but somehow we give more importance to the latter... Nevertheless, i wouldn't divulge into the complexities of human priorities for now.

When i look back... i know that i have lived so much... yet i can see so few moments... (not that I have a bad memory! Mind it!), its just that things that matter... really... are very few... and one thing is for sure... my first pay check, or my good results in academics (very rare, though), etc are not a part of these moments.

I feel that life is not made of all these glares and flashy achievements, it's very transcendental, it's very micro-cosmic. I remember the moments when we used to sit outside my mom's kitchen (especially when the lights went out), and we used to sing songs... play games like antakshari while she used to feed us by her hands, i remember the moments when hours passed by in worship.. and it felt like minutes, i also remember the moments of laughter, moments of lying and getting caught, moments of hiding and savoring them, even moments of confessing the truth (very rare, again), and the moments when I cried after listening to songs (hey! i don't cry!!!). Some moments of beauty, some moments of desire, some moments of music, and some of contemplation, some moments of getting scolded, and some of getting loved... the moments which I call LIFE! - but the happiest moment of my Life...? is a big question!

I feel a shiver in my body... when i realize, that happiness is very abstract. It's not so dramatic or flimsy.

Still wondering? Let me tell u... i was all ALONE... standing in the wind of rain... rain which did not fall from the sky... but rose from a river... yes, i was standing on a very slippery point... very near to the edge of a giant fall, a fall which easily paves it's way into one of the natural wonders of the world... and it was raining constantly.

The rain was from the smoke of water caused by the river's falling down the rigid canyons with sheer power and stark beauty. It somehow awakened the person inside me, it had to, it was too powerful to resist!

... And while standing there... with my arms stretched, i forgot the world, i had no connection with my past, present or future... i was just there! I felt one with the universe... and truly speaking... i could FEEL! I cannot find a better word for describing my state...

I consider it to be the happiest moment of my life...

In case you are guessing, yes, it was risky standing there, and I did slip a couple of times while trying to reach that majestic point, even though i was very cautious, but what happened to me after I reached there is nothing compared to risking my Life! I was happy, in the true sense of being happy, when i stood there. All my senses were fulfilled. And when i think about being there, it does not leave me craving like all those other cherished moments of my life which i shared earlier, it just makes me complete. I feel blessed.

Life is beautiful. We usually find beauty in things which leave us numb, and which leave us mesmerized or full of awe, or love... but we realize the really beauty of life when we start accepting each and every moment of Life with the same Gracefulness as the happiest moments of our Life!

So, just stay focused friends, life is full of surprises... u never know when the next person or the next moment can take your breath away...

Love,

Mystition!